Enough already!

One of the hardest parts about being a single mom is just not feeling like I am "enough" to do this job. And truly knowing that I'm not. I'm realizing know more than ever the importance of the roles each parent plays in a child's life. I find myself feeling guilty a lot during my day. I feel guilty when I lay my baby boy down for bed and prep him that mommy will be going to work the next day and will wake up to a babysitter. I find myself caught up  thinking about him at work, wondering what he is doing, if he is having fun and what little moments I am missing out on. On the days when I am lucky enough to stay home with him, I find myself questioning each move I make.

Do I discipline enough?
Do I show enough love?
Am I a good enough example?
Do I have enough faith in myself and in Heavenly Father that I can do this?

I know that my intentions are pure and that I am truly doing the best I can, each day trying to do better..but is it ENOUGH?
Sometimes I wonder why this (my idea of a perfect little family) is being taken away from me. Why, when I am trying to do my best to obtain something that I have always been taught to strive for, is it not working out the way I want?
I was lucky enough to be able to go to Time out for Women this last weekend with some of my favorite women..:) I came to this conclusion. Life just really sucks sometimes! Ok..there's more to it than that...

I realized that I can be happy. I realized that I have worked hard my whole life to be able to be worthy for a temple marriage. All though that isn't working out for me, the things I have learned along the way have only made me stronger and most of all, my relationship with God stronger. I can feel peace. I can feel happiness and I can feel his love and helping hand every day especially when I don't feel like I am enough.


and then I found this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E

Twin/Snoqualmie falls

 I got a call this morning at about 8am from my mom saying, "Hey, let's go to snoqualmie falls!" ...ok!
We packed up the kids and two cars and headed out! I love fun spontaneous days like this. The photos are in backwards order of the actual events but whatever! First, we did a little hike to twin falls. We made it about half way, ate our bag lunches and then decided to head back so we could check off the rest of our to do list!  

 We went to snoqualmie falls and watched in awe as the water pounded down on itself! So amazing! Our little Joee said, "Wow, it looks like it's making smoke!" After that, we went into town and found cute vintage train museum! Kason was in heaven! They had old train cars everywhere. I took plenty of photos of them in hopes that someday I'll finish decorating his train themed bedroom. They had a car open that the kids could pretend to drive. (First photo- never mind the "westside hoodlums" graffitti!)

 We ended our day with a little hot cocoa/ caramel apple cider from the local coffee shop and a little outlet shopping! Fun day!